Deep Down

She stares at her reflection in the mirror.

Beautiful, smart, outgoing; that's what everyone sees.

But if you actually took the time to look deep down, you would realize, 

she isn't actually proud of who she is & who she wishes to be.

Why?

She is wearing the mask, to refrain from the real her, the real world.

Putting on a show every day,

pretending and fantasizing that everything is okay;

it's not, no, no way, it is not.

Not deep down, no matter what I say.

Deep down, this young girl is drowning,

drowning in the wonders if tomorrow will ever come.

Looking out at the stars at night,

waiting for the illuminating light of the sun.

She looks at herself in the mirror longer this time.

Watching the eyes of a monster eating at her heart & soul stare back at her,

"I'm fine!"

No she is not, no no, but the world keeps spinning oblivious.

She is hiding that the hurtful, crucial words of others get at her.

She hides the cuts and bruises from her mother and her father.

She hides the frustration, that no one will open up their eyes and see,

that this girl, deep down, is suffering endlessly.

The prank phone calls, the nasty text messages blowing up her phone,

it was like a never-ending hole she kept falling deeper & deeper into;

she never felt so alone.

She tried to speak up, tell the world of her troubles,

but every time she spoke, she felt her problems double.

The sleepless nights, and frozen tears,

she prayed it would not be like this in the further years.

Mama didn't care, Daddy didn't understand.

She had no one to guide her, no one to hold her hand.

This little girl held the weight of the world on her shoulders,

but enough is enough now that she's older.

She is tired of falling into the depths of nothing.

Now her mind is racing, she has to do something.

She held the knife letting it hover over her wrist,

her heart is churning, the final twist.

The thoughts of others penetrated her mind.

Thinking back to the younger years, wishing she could rewind.

The knife slowly pierces into her skin,

what's done is down, she is now a sin.

As the knife cuts deeper & deeper into her flesh,

she slowly felt that she forgot about all the rest.

It numbed her heart, one by one,

there's no taking back what's done is done.

Nothing got better, only became worse.

People still didn't like her, she was still a curse.

She was never good enough at home,

now she really was on her own.

Daddy strikes the last hit across her face.

Mama didn't want to see, so she erased.

No one understood, no one would see, 

that she is just a young girl & has had enough already.

She took some time to think about who she was.

She felt like no one, just a simple bee with a buzz. 

This is it now, she cannot take any more,

she wanted out, so she walked out the door.

She pulled the trigger, and went straight to her heart.

This little girl is now in the world as a work of art.

All she wanted was someone to tell her it was alright,

but no one did, so she ended it that night.

All she wanted was a simple smile that no one gave her.

Everyone was too afraid.

Now she is off to heaven in her own parade.

People began to regret what they said and did.

Mama said she was a fool, Daddy said "They're just kids!"

No one understood or took the time to know,

Everyone was scared to reach out, to risk to be shown.

It's over now, & everyone starts to realize,

what this little girl felt, all the lies & cries.

Finally she felt wanted,

and her soul was not haunted.

All she hoped for was for someone to say, 

"Don't worry, tomorrow is a brand new day."

But no one did and no one saw

that they had pulled her final straw,

& deep down she wanted to feel okay,

because deep down, she was just like me and you,

just portrayed in a different way.